I broke down and had a half a cigarette last night. The main reason for this post is not to talk about that, but more to write about a nice thought I had. I just posted a pic on my tumblr:
And the caption was “I am really starting to embrace minimalist design.”
But is is more than that. I am trying to incoporate the idea of minimalism into every aspect of my life.
Less stuff. (time to clean out the apt and all the junk I keep around for no reason)
Less addiction. (see you later ciggs, keep cutting out the booze)
Less drama. (starting to separate myself from anyone who consistently has gossip or issues or fights or whatever)
Less debt. (for obvious reasons)
Less stress. (more meditation, more being present, less worrying about things I cannot control)
Less fat. (literally, I am on a constant mission of cutting body fat and becoming lighter and leaner.
I don’t know what will bring happiness into my life, but I do know that the more I have of all of those things does the opposite. So as far as I can tell, less of everything is the way to go.
Today is Tuesday, 9/6/11. This past weekend I was in Atlantic City for a bachelor party for a friend of mine, Mike Stigi. I smoked. I didn’t even try not to. They night before I left I met some friends out for happy hour and bought a pack on the way. Today I am quitting, again. I feel excited about this attempt and believe I can pull through. Last week I went 4, almost 5 days, without a cigarette. I feel terrible about smoking this weekend. However, this time I think I have a better plan. My goal is to write in this blog everyday for the next 3 months. I will talk about the previous hours since my last post, how I have been feeling, what has made me want to to smoke, and what has helped me avoid it. Additionally, I will be using the quit smoking app (livestrong) on my iphone. I am surprised how much it helps to read other peoples thoughts who are going to through different stages of the same process. Finally I will use the quit smoking meditation/hypnosis app that I used a bit earlier. It seems to be effective, I just need to make sure I make time for it everyday. One of the begin themes I would like to incorporate into my fitness and nutrition blog is the importance of creating good habits. That same principle need comes in to play here, and I need to act on my own advice and create a habit of recording my thoughts and listening to the app.
Today is day 4 of not smoking. I had a craving this morning due to work and a couple personal things going on. However, I didn’t and I am happy I didnt.
I had a cough that was getting pretty phlegmy. I wasn’t sure if it was attributed to smoking or allergies. However, 4 days in and the cough is almost completely gone. When I take deep breaths, my chest feels cleaner.
My mom has had a bad cough for awhile. The doctor has her on nebulizer treatments, steroid injections, and an inhaler 4 times a day. If things don’t get better in the next couple days they want her to come in for a chest x-ray. Naturally, the worst possibly scenarios have been rushing through my head. Emphysema or pneumonia, which would both be terrible for obvious reasons added to the fact that my mom has a very weak heart, or the worst of the worst… lung cancer. Fingers crossed and prayers at full throttle.
I remember the night I started smoking. I was at F&M’s patio bar in New Orleans, La. There were a couple people there working for some cigarette company (the brand escapes me now, I am sure it will come to be eventually) walking around giving out free packs of cigarettes.
All my friends smoked. I wanted to know what they liked about them. Also, I was insecure and wanted to fit in with them. They rep handed me a pack of smokes and I lit one up. It burned. It was gross. Inhaling was next to impossible it hurt so bad but I made myself do it.
I got my first nicotine buzz. It made me dizzy, but it was fun. Suddenly I was smoking with everyone else.
I lived in the fraternity house. I woke up in my bed with a pounding headache. Pretty usual for most of my college experience. My mouth tasted gross. Smoking is disgusting.
Mark Nelms was an older guy in the fraternity. People liked him. He was a good time, super funny, always coming up with something fun to do, always meeting new girls.
He showed up at the house with his dog and I took a walk with him. He offered me a cigarette. I didn’t really want one, but I took one anyway.
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